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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098719">What Am I to You: A Comedy of One Error (over, and over, and over again)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/YanagiKana/pseuds/YanagiKana'>YanagiKana</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Hades (Video Game 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, Canon Temporary Character Death, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, One Shot, Or Mostly Canon Compliant Anyway, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Resolved Pining, Slightly Modern Attitudes Toward Courtship But Just Nod And Go With It</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 04:13:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,113</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098719</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/YanagiKana/pseuds/YanagiKana</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Thanatos follows some reasonable advice in a... mostly reasonable way.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thanatos/Zagreus (Hades Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>429</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Am I to You: A Comedy of One Error (over, and over, and over again)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thanatos frowned into his reflection in the mirror, then turned away and returned to pacing the floor. There were many things that he, over his untold eons of existence, had mastered. He knew just the gentle look to give a recently deceased mortal when he arrived to collect to make them feel safe and peaceful. He could shift from place to place over unmeasurable distances in less than the blink of an eye. He could even use the scythe he carried to inflict massive damage to a foe, though it was much more often that he found himself giving his speech on the neutrality of the symbolism that—well. Never mind that. The problem was, right now, the one thing he’d never really developed the skillset to handle, and that was Hades’ son. Zagreus the prince, Zagreus the insurrectionist, Zagreus the impetuous fool with the mismatching eyes that he, Thanatos, could no longer avoid seeing when he closed his own. Thoughts of the godling tinged his perspective on everything he did, everything he saw.</p><p>He’d been over each possibility, and there wasn’t much left to say about it.</p><p>This was love.</p><p>
  <em>So now what.</em>
</p><p>He furrowed his brow and paced back again. It had been so long since he’d come across a situation he <em>wasn’t</em> equipped to handle with aplomb, that casual dignity on which he prided himself – on which he built his reputation, frankly – that he wasn’t sure where to start in <em>finding </em>the solution. And now that Zagreus had begun a series of mad and <em>increasingly daring </em>escape attempts, the eternity he’d presumed he had in which to figure it out was looking a hell of a lot shorter. Hades assured him that the boy would never so much as surpass the first of the Furies, but Thanatos wasn’t so sure. He knew the look in those eyes – knew it too damn well now, really – and nothing in them said “giving up.”</p><p>Might be what he saw in them, if he was honest with himself. And he was, generally, quite honest with himself.</p><p>He sat on the edge of the bed, put his head in his hands, and sighed. There was no sense in delaying the inevitable. If one is not naturally equipped with the skills to overcome one’s problems, and one has attempted to acquire them without success, then one must seek an external source.</p><p>He pondered the list of names that came to mind and none seemed terribly promising. Of those he was closest to, few seemed interested in what might be considered <em>matters of the heart.</em></p><p>Well, failing an expert, at least, he settled on a name – someone with, if not a romantic bent exactly, a great deal of wisdom and compassion.</p><p><em>And that’s that, then. </em>He was about to go and broach the subject when duty called.</p><p>He stood, picking up his scythe and nodding at himself once more in the mirror. <em>When I return.</em></p><hr/><p>When next he found himself back in the house of Hades, he sought her out.</p><p>"Mother?"</p><p>"Yes, my child."</p><p>"A word, if you please.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Thanatos glanced to the side; Dusa was busily tidying the mess out of a particularly problematic spot in the corner, muttering something about the clumping of fur and ash.</p><p>“In private?”</p><p>“Very well… let us retire to my chambers.”</p><p>Nyx’s room was almost a reflection of the goddess herself, dark walls with accents in the deep blues and purples of the night, and Thanatos felt comforted by the soft glow and flickering shadows cast by the occasional lantern.</p><p>“Mother, what do you do when you...well. When you love someone. For it seems that I do."</p><p>"A strange question from you, Thanatos! But I suppose that is unwise to presume any truly immune, unless one has been told as such."</p><p>"So..."</p><p>"Ever the impatient one.” She smiled.</p><p>“Tsch. Hardly.”</p><p>“Then this, in particular, is a matter of some urgency?”</p><p>Was it possible that she had already seen, already suspected Thanatos’ predicament? It wouldn’t have been the first time, but Nyx had always kept her secrets well guarded. It was part of what Thanatos admired about her.</p><p>She ignored his silence and continued. “There is no great, immortal puzzle in these matters, child. You should spend time with that person. Do things they like doing. It is as simple as that."</p><p>Thanatos pondered this for a moment. "What if you don't... know what they like doing?"</p><p>"Then you must observe, my son. What does this person spend the most time doing?"</p><p>"Spend... the most time... doing."</p><p>"Indeed. It is a fickle little ritual of courtship, but a tradition honored by Chronos himself, to which both mortals and gods alike pay their honors."</p><p>"I see. Thank you, Mother."</p><p>"I wish you the best of luck. But tell me, my-- ah."</p><p>Thanatos shifted back to his chambers. If he allowed her to ask, he would be obliged to give a direct answer, and this he was not prepared to do.</p><p><em>What Zagreus likes doing is likely whatever he spends the most time doing.</em> Well, that was easy. Trying to escape, attacking shades again and again.</p><p><em>I could always show up and join him in that,</em> Thanatos supposed. Pretend he’d just been in the area – there was no reason whatsoever he <em>would</em> be; he delivered souls directly from the mortal realm to Hades’ chamber, and everybody knew it – but whether Zagreus pretended to believe the excuse or not might give valuable insight as to whether his company were actually welcome.</p><p>He still couldn’t see how it could count as <em>fun</em>, however.</p><hr/><p>It had always been hard to keep anything from Hypnos. Thanatos supposed that’s just how it was with twins. There was a bond there that pulled him back, and though the two had the least similar personalities that Thanatos could imagine twins having, no matter what, he always let <em>something</em> slip with Hyp, ended up spilling everything. And even when he didn’t, Hypnos had a way of <em>presuming </em>exactly the thing he was trying not to imply. This was how it came to pass that, with no particular warning, Hypnos was crying across the Chamber of Souls, "Oh, a date! Boy! Well, good luck! I've heard those can be reaaaal tricky!"</p><p>For a god of sleep, Hypnos had a hell of a voice. <em>“Discretion,”</em>  he hissed, pulling his still-protesting sibling off the job and down a wending hallway to his chambers.</p><p>Thanatos kicked the door shut with practiced ease, releasing his brother. Hypnos, utterly unfazed, sat in his usual favorite spot on a long sofa. “I merely said I took an interest in accompanying the young prince, <em>briefly</em>, on his quest. What part of that curiosity did you take to mean a romantic interest?”</p><p>“I dunno! There’s just something about that boy… you know? I’ve noticed it when you walk by him.”</p><p>“The… way I pass him in a corridor?”</p><p>“Yeah! There’s something about how you don’t say anything…” Hypnos tilted his head, tapping his chin with a finger.</p><p>Thanatos sighed, then shrugged. “You are more perceptive than you appear.”</p><p>“I know, right?”</p><p>He shook his head and sat next to his brother, leaning back. “In that case, perhaps you have advice. What does Zagreus seem to <em>enjoy?</em>”</p><p>Hypnos thought for a moment, which dragged into a longer moment, and a light snore soon followed. Thanatos jostled him with a shoulder, and he came to with a start. “Oh! Yes! Well, he doesn’t seem to like dying very much.”</p><p>“Does anyone?”</p><p>“Oooh, good point.” Hypnos’ curls bounced as he agreed.</p><p>Thanatos considered the idea nevertheless. “Perhaps if I stepped in and gave Zag a chance to relax?”</p><p>Hypnos shook his head. “Eeeeeehhhh…”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Well, I think he still likes the challenge. I mean, when he comes back dead from a really GOOD fight, he’s kind of got this…” Hypnos attempted a deeply unsuccessful approximation of Zagreus’ facial expression, one that Thanatos recognized nonetheless as a kind of satisfied grin.</p><p>“Hm. That does complicate things.”</p><p>“I bet he likes a challenge!”</p><p>"Oh." He thought about this for a moment. All those Shades. “But I’d hinder his journey by merely arriving to fight with no purpose. We can’t forge a bond based on resentment.”</p><p>"Well, as long as you're having fun!"</p><p>“Hah. I’ll give it some thought.”</p><p>“And I’d better get back to my post!”</p><p>He wasn’t wrong; Hades would be bellowing fire and brimstone if he didn’t return soon, and so Thanatos let Hypnos go with a nod of thanks. He walked away to stand on the promenade, arms resting against the bannister, watching the blood-red of the Styx flow by. <em>I suppose we could make it fun. A fun challenge.</em></p><p>
  <em>But how do you make an unenviable task fun?</em>
</p><p><em>Well,</em> he answered himself, <em>when we were young, Mother used to make cleaning a game by turning it into a competition; seeing which of us could pick up and correctly restore the most items to their proper places. That was… not unlike a bit of fun.</em></p><p>Unusual for a “date”, he supposed. But he was no usual suitor, and the object of his affections was no ordinary being, not even for a god.</p><p>And so, with that, he knew how to proceed.</p><hr/><p>He decided to appear in Asphodel. Asphodel gave him plausible deniability; he could always claim to be delivering – or to <em>just have delivered</em> an ordinary soul to the ordinary place.</p><p>Just so it wouldn’t be a lie, he waited until he actually had a soul to deliver there, just near where he could <em>feel</em> Zagreus battling hostile elements.</p><p>Zagreus seemed surprised when he popped in and laid down his challenge, but at least, to Thanatos’ delight, he seemed to take the competition rather well. Thanatos stood back, watching him, watching his technique, unpracticed but enthusiastic, and, brandishing his scythe as rapidly as it would allow, admired his spirit, though he occasionally flinched as Zagreus took a particularly harsh blow from a foe neither had yet managed to defeat.</p><p>He allowed himself a private smile as the last of their enemies vanished – that <em>was</em> fun, properly and truly more fun than he’d had in a long time, and by his estimation, though he hadn’t held back one bit, Zagreus had him beaten by two. His heart pounded a little at the realization that this made them an even match, and he wondered in what <em>other</em> arenas they might find themselves sparring.</p><p>He shifted to a more comfortable spot as Zagreus claimed his prize and waited with a slight uncertainty. If his sudden arrival, if his pleasant tone had not already betrayed his motive, the gift that he had prepared most certainly would. It was a heart-shaped packet, delicately crafted, containing <em>the essence of life itself</em>, which he had collected in tiny, careful efforts in his time on the surface. A blade of particularly brightly shining, lustrous grass here. A <em>xiphium</em> stalk, plucked on the very morning of its blooming, there. Even the <em>incredibly rare</em> offering left to him, a minor and not terribly popular god among the mortals, on one of his few altars. He’d begun saving them all and weaving them into fine, life-giving hearts.</p><p>If anything could say, “My intentions to you are romantic in nature,” a heart full of life would.</p><p>Zagreus made his way back. The satisfied grin on his face mirrored very well how Thanatos felt.</p><p>“That was good work,” he said, simply, placing the heart in front of him. Zagreus inspected it for a moment, then walked forward and accepted. Thanatos' chest swelled even further. <em>He accepted my heart. He accepted m-</em></p><p>And that’s when Thanatos panicked. “I’ll see you back at the house,” he said quickly, realizing as the words came out of his mouth that he was essentially wishing the prince’s quest be doomed to failure.</p><p>Well. That was why it was important to do this sooner rather than later. Zag hadn’t made it through Asphodel yet, anyhow – surely he didn’t expect to arrive at the <em>surface</em> without a great deal more practice.</p><p>Thanatos shifted back to the mortal plane, realized he had no need to be there, and shifted again back to his room. He set his scythe in its holder and lay down on the bed, fully clothed. <em>At least he accepted. At least he accepted. Perhaps, if I do not make myself out to be a total fool, and if he can feel this… indefinable pull that seems to draw us together… perhaps. Perhaps he will accept a second romantic encounter.</em></p><p>He’d be sure to be waiting somewhere conspicuous the next time he felt Zag’s soul returning in the river.</p><hr/><p>Things were going well. Very well. Zagreus always enthusiastically welcomed him when he approached for another date, even failing to question why he, the god of <em>not dropping people off after violent deaths,</em> was sometimes showing up in Elysium. He just came when he could, and they fought together, side by side.</p><p>Thanatos found himself wishing he could spend much more of time doing this. And even better, Zag seemed to reciprocate. He rarely passed through the Great Hall without at least a chat, and these were growing more intimate – and unless Thanatos was sorely mistaken, more affectionate. What was more, he frequently followed these talks with an offering of his own from the surface – a bottle of fine nectar, rare and desirable even among the gods themselves. But it was not the mighty Zeus or great Athena who was getting these gifts. It was him. <em>Him.</em> Thanatos, humble death-messenger.</p><p>Thanatos sat on the lounging chair in his room and stroked his latest bottle thoughtfully. <em>That has to mean something.</em></p><p>But they’d been on so many dates – thirty by Thanatos’ count – and they still had yet to so much as touch, let alone hold hands, embrace, or any of the other thousand longings Thanatos had, every waking hour of every single day.</p><p>He’d have to deal with this. He wouldn’t enjoy it, but he’d have to face it without flinching.</p><p>He’d have to ask next time Zagreus was here. <em>He would just have to ask.</em></p><p>He wandered out, toward the bath. Maybe then he could think of <em>what</em> to ask.</p><hr/><p>A steamy and relaxing few hours later, Thanatos had settled on an angle of attack, at least. “What am I to you?” That was open-ended enough to allow Zag some room to breathe, to pick his own words. And then he’d lay out his own feelings; no room for confusion. He’d leave the rest up to Zag.</p><p>He wasn’t sure he’d love the answer, but at this point, he just needed to know. If Zagreus was accepting his courtship for any reason other than his own satisfaction – obligation, fear of breaking the friendship, <em>pity </em>(perish the thought), then he needed to know, and he needed to stop this before it went any further.</p><hr/><p>…And not much of an answer did he get. But it was better than nothing, really. More of a “wait and see”. He supposed that was Zag’s variant on “give me a little time to figure out the phrasing,” and he took it as an honor to be worth more than a little thought.</p><p>He waited a bit longer than usual to drop in for a fight, but he certainly seemed welcome when at last he did.</p><p>In fact, as he shifted home again, he could have sworn he heard a voice calling his name. “Than, w—”</p><p>When, soon enough, he felt the familiar, distinctive surge of power through the Styx, the one that had started to send his stomach into strange convulsions every time it came, he raised an eyebrow. For better or for worse, the look in Zagreus’ eyes said he was getting an answer.</p><p>And, apparently, an ambrosia.</p><p>“Is this an apology, Zag? Because I can assure you, I don’t need one.”</p><p>“Nothing like it. It’s just… you deserve more than you get, Than. Uh, not apologies. Just generally. Ugh. Look, just come and have a drink with me already, OK?”</p><p>“A drink?”</p><p>“Yes. A drink.”</p><p>“With me?”</p><p>“Yes. And, with any luck, me also. Thus making it both of us.”</p><p>“Hah. Alright. I appreciate it.”</p><p>They sat in the lounge, shades wandering by, sharing the bizarre little concoction that was amongst the few things served at the bar, an almost fruity, almost pungent, almost tangible liquid. Somewhere in it, he supposed, was a drop of nectar, though you’d be hard-pressed to find it.</p><p>“And so,” Zagreus was continuing, “I know I haven’t been exactly straight with you. But you were pretty clear with me, last time we spoke. And Achilles gave me some… decent advice.”</p><p>“Did he now?”</p><p>“So… that’s that, I suppose. Than.” Zagreus turned and placed a warm hand over Thanatos’. “I respect you. I admire you. And when you’re near, I get…” he paused and squeezed. “Excited.” Thanatos raised an eyebrow, and Zagreus swallowed. “So let’s start here. See where this takes us.”</p><p>Thanatos squeezed the hand back, closing his eyes, taking in the moment.</p><p>Zagreus continued. “If you want, we can call this our first date.”</p><p>Thanatos’ eyes flew open. “Our <em>what?</em>”</p><p>“Date, Than. The prelude to a romantic relationship. The opening ceremonies to an agreed-upon courtship. A date. This, the first of <em>an assumed many, should you so agree.</em>”</p><p>“Zag, I agree. It’s just…” he put a hand to his head, rubbing at an increasingly sore temple. “What about the other thirty-one?”</p><p>“The other… thirty-one.”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“I have… <em>no</em> idea what you’re talking about.”</p><p>“DATES.”</p><p>“There are supposed to be thirty-one of them? Man, did I miss a chapter in the etiquette book Nyx made me read as a kid?”</p><p>“There aren’t <em>supposed to be.</em> I am referring to the <em>thirty-one times I have already attempted to court you.</em>”</p><p>“The… oh, gods. Seriously? When?”</p><p>“When I came and fought at your side, obviously.”</p><p>“Those were… <em>seriously?!</em>”</p><p>“How could you not have known?”</p><p>“How was I <em>supposed</em> to know?”</p><p>“I <em>crafted you gifts of the heart, </em>Zag.”</p><p>“Th—those were you? From you? I mean, yours you?”</p><p>“Do you know how long that takes?”</p><p>“I… OK, but I did <em>die</em> to bring you that nectar.”</p><p>“And this, I treasure. But how could you be so unaware as to—”</p><p>“—you gave them as <em>prizes.</em>”</p><p>“I—” Thanatos stopped. He had. He really had. Everything began to fall into place.</p><p>“Well,” mused Zagreus, tossing back the last of his drink, “at least now I know you’ll agree to a second date.”</p><p>Thanatos smirked. “Or, indeed, a thirty-second date.”</p><p>Zagreus shrugged and glanced askance at Thanatos, quirking an eyebrow. “Who’s counting?”</p>
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